Common mistakes in understanding bullying and toxic leaders
Why toxic leadership is improperly addressed
There are many reasons we continue to wrestle with issues of bullying including our understanding of it, definition of it, acceptance of it as part of human behaviour and the overwhelm belief of ‘oh what can you do?’. When we mention ‘bullying’, oftentimes the first thing that comes to mind is schoolyard scuffles or workplace harassment and we resign ourselves to deflecting the issue to those contexts to deal with managing bullying and harassment as being too hard for us to deal with individually or not affecting us if we believe we are not subjected to bullying.
However bullying is a social construct that describes the establishment of a power imbalance and the maintenance of control existing in any context in which humans have a relationship, connection, or form of engagement with another. Basically, any situation where one has the capacity to unduly influence the other.
Bullying succeeds by establishing a power hold. In the schoolyard, this can be the big kid pushing around the little kid. In domestic violence, this can be one partner having authority over all the finances. In sexual abuse, one might have photos and evidence to hold as a threat to ensure compliance. And in government, you perpetually need to beg for handouts to survive catastrophes, have to follow dictated punishable directives, and need to seek authority for permissions and approvals to do anything. An example of this can be seen through grant funding applications and the need to curry favour with the politician of the day to get funding for community benefit. All our systems are geared so that, to reach any solution requires government to approve it.
When problems are presented that require solutions and the solution resolution relies on a hierarchal structure deliberation, the ultimate control and authority is afforded to that apex authority. Where the decision-making by the apex is then made that provides advantage to the apex and disadvantages the lower echelons, that is toxic leadership.
Why do toxic leaders make decisions that benefit themselves? Power and money.
How do they get power and money? They establish a stronghold.
How do they establish a stronghold?
Bullying.
Common mistakes in understanding bullying
Bullying is a ‘wicked problem’, a social problem with many moving parts that is inherently unsolvable. Much of the ‘wickedness’ comes from the mistakes made in understanding bullying and thus, how to address it. Add to that the complexities of toxic leadership and we have the wickedest of wicked problems.
When seeking to develop problem solution, we must first unpick and understand the problem. And the best way to do that is to examine common mistakes. The following are only some of the mistakes in understanding bullying and toxic leadership.
‘Oh what can you do?’
Humanity is currently in a phase of chaos and disruption but this is not new, nor is bullying and toxic leadership new concepts. We (humanity) have seen this all before in one shape or another, maybe not in our generation, maybe not this context but our human problems are not new.
The disruption we are currently experiencing is a phase in a social cycle. Just one phase in the same cycle. It will come and go and later this will all happen again, probably in the same rhythm, the same pattern, if history is anything to go by. The saying is ‘insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results’. So, what are we insanely repeating over and over with expectations of a different outcome?
To create positive change, the first thing we need to do is take a breath. In that breath remember you are best placed to decide what’s best for you. Then the next time you find yourself in a situation that you feel is harmful to your well-being, consider what you can do differently to change things, to take care of yourself, to feel better about yourself, to fashion your happiness, and potentially, to disrupt the pattern - even if it’s for just one moment.
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Author
Susan Broomhall is a social scientist with a major in psychology and over 30 years practical in-field experience applying behavioural analysis and research to real world issues. With a passion for positive social impact she uses a unique, multidisciplinary approach to understanding human behaviour and society to improve lives and prevent harm. Susan works towards empowering people to be safe and well by raising understanding of issues and inspiring critical thinking to encourage people to design solutions that work for them and their community. She hopes to be part of the co-creation of a harmonious and peaceful society where love, caring and happiness are the valued commodities.
Susan Broomhall is the author of Bullying & Harassment – Understanding the Psychological and Behavioural Tactics of the Toxic Leadership Stronghold.